June 2004 Archives

Twenty plus million dollars. That how much money «I»Farenheit 911«/I» made over the weekend. That's a lotta dough. And for what, a couple of hours of distorted facts and editing jobs designed to reach a prearranged conclusion, cast in an attempt to change the minds of voters and energise the "Let's defeat Bush!' brigades?

It's been admitted by several on this backyard blog barbeque (the BBB?) that it is not the nature of the message that counts, but that the correct message is being given. Some visual sleight of hand is necessary to reach the desired conclusion. Sure. Moore plays fast and loose with facts, bending them out of shape by his sheer mass, but this is allowed because what is being said is politically damaging to the current administration specifically and to the opposing party deliberately.

The ends justify the means. Throw Bush out with whatever weapons are at hand.

All of which sets a new standard for documentary films.

I got to thinking "if I wanted to make some fast cash, score political points so people see my film, and have no scruples, what would I do?" Because its so inefficient to just wait around for something to happen and then film it. Editing is so 20th Century. This is the modern age. Hence, my new documentary slogan: «b»Don't Film, Fabricate«/b». I don't have the time or the money to spend wandering around Flint, Michigan trolling for people who will talk to me. I don't have the patience to interview hundreds of people to get a few minutes of usable film. No, I have a computer, and that means I can create whatever the hell I please. And, since it has the proper political message, it's guaranteed to rake in the cash of the liberal (and rightwing) suckers, and maybe, just maybe, violate some federal election laws.

When you think «i»documentary«/I» what comes to mind first? For me, it's always something on National Geographic, or even better, the old Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, where for a whole Pablum filled hour you could watch a wildebeest drink water and crop grass. Exciting! Educational! But it lacks the proper political message. And, well, everyone likes dinosaurs.

I give you «I»«B»Deinonychus Antirrhopus Has Two Daddies«/B»«/I»:

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/deinonychusdaddies.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/deinonychusdaddies.php','popup','width=693,height=518,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/deinonychusdaddies-thumb.jpg" width="300" height="224" border="0" /»«/a»

Set in the late Cretaceous Period, Denny the Deinonychus endures a lot of abuse and from other Dromaeosauri, such as the velociraptors and saurornitholestes, all because his parents live an alternative lifestyle. Denny overcomes his fear and shame to become a top member in the predator-prey pyramid, even though in one touching scene he allows an injured coleocephalosaurus, who once taunted him mercilessly near Windward Smoking Pit, to leave and return to his parents to forage again another day. His lasting friendship with the troodont Willy gives him the fortitude to succeed in a world soon beset by the worst of all futures, global warming, and his eventual long sleep after the events of the Chixiculub impact. A touching story of tolerance and pride in oneself regardless of the oppressive views inherent in the meat eating carnivore class.

But why stop there? I'm not limited to anthropomorphic beasts that went extinct millions of years ago. I'm not even limited to contemporary ones. No, I'll tell the sad, liberal tale of an inanimate object in the next film called «I»«B»Brick«/I»«/B»:

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/brickfilm.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/brickfilm.php','popup','width=492,height=713,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/brickfilm-thumb.jpg" width="300" height="434" border="0" /»«/a»

«I»«B»Brick«/I»«/B» is a tale that anyone, young or old, can laugh and learn from. We watch the tale of Brick Brick, a brick that grew up in the worst of Depression Era times in southern Chicago. Brick is a brick who does his job as best he can, but finds no solace, no peace for his weary body. We follow him through the turbulent years of World War II, serving to hold up a wall in New York city. Eventually, dissatisfied with his lot in life, he joins the International Socialists Workers Party, and there, finds like minds of equal intellect who can understand the needs and concerns of both modern and early brick. Brick finds solace with his new Socialist brethren, knowing he no longer has to shoulder the load himself, others will step in to help. Free Mumia.

When I accept my award at Cannes, I will cite everyone present as my lasting inspiration for «I»«B»Brick«/I»«/B». Thank you all.

Lastly, and since it is getting late and I need to crash, I produced «B»«I»I Sold Kerry's Brain On EBAY«/B»«/I»

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/kerrybrain.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/kerrybrain.php','popup','width=640,height=480,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/kerrybrain-thumb.jpg" width="300" height="225" border="0" /»«/a»

A short film, designed exclusively for the genre, tells the tale of a man who obtained presidential candidate John Kerry's brain in 1978. After he was rendered unconscious in a biking accident, Kerry's brain was removed on the spot and placed into a jar of preservative fluid, and kept for more than 25 years collecting dust in a Schenectady basement. The brain was rediscovered, and sold on EBay to a high bidder who wished to remain anonymous. Complete with almost three minutes of intense speculation of the buyer's identity! This short film will keep you on the edge of your seat, as just what the hell has Kerry been making decisions with if some asshole has his brain?
«HR»
Well, tha's enough of that. Note that Deinonychus is just a cool dinosaur, way better than those puny velociraptors that are so trendy for some reason. Go with the real killer, go Deinonychus! (And no, I'm not making fun of «A HREF="http://www.steveverdon.com/"»Steve Verdon«/A» either.) No animals were harmed in th emaking of these events, nor were any subjected to alternative lifestyles without their express consent, and all minor dinosaurs, bricks, and brains had parental consent. John Kerry is a trademarked name of the International Ketchup Party, and was used without permission. I tried, but simply could not make my dinosaurs vegetarian. John Kerrys brain was enlarged to visible size to appear correctly and without distortion on your computer screen.

If you have any good ideas for a documentary, send them to me, and I'll at least make a movie poster out of it if it's kewl enuf.

Neil Abercrombie, of the House Armed Services Commitee, says that bullets made in Israel might offend people who are shot with Hebrew quality military ball. Therefore, under no circumstances, are rounds made in Israel to be used in any Muslim theater of operations.

Why the fuck are people bothering with 6th century concepts in this modern information age? Does the point of origin for bullets REALLY MATTER? How is this an issue in the slightest? Because we might offend someone who has been inculcated from an early age that anything Jewish will poison the land, sea and air?

Christ on a crutch hobbling across a freeway. A bullet made to military specifications is just that, a friggin' bullet. Who cars wher eit is made from? @Why are we not setting a proper 21st Century example to these ignorant people by just issueing the ammo and ignoring any cries of offense? This is a problem of perception, not of objective fact. We should be shrugging our shoulders at any complaints, and patiently explaining that outmoded thoughts of sympathetic magic and superstition mean nothing in the modern world, we have moved past that some time ago. If they still don't like it, well, they can go fuck themselves, there is a war to be fought.

I fail to see why we should place ourselves at risk because some Congressperson has had a fit of perceptual ignorance. It's one thing to tolerate other cultures strange beliefs and actions, but it shouldn't dictate ours.

I wish my government would stop knuckling under to bullshit like this.

Yes yes, our putative allies in the Middle East will have a complete mental hissy over the thought that some j00ish ammunition might be a thousand mile radius of Mecca. That's perfectly understandable, been that way since Mohommed chose a new qiblah to pray. However, we now have scientific proof that not only are Jews not the offspring of pigs and apes, but are indeed HUMANS just like EVERYONE ELSE. And when they build something, it is not infused with j00 p0w3rz that strike down the Gentile. A bullet made in Israel will operate the same way as a bullet made in Nebraska. That's the facts, objectively clear, cannot be disputed by rational minds.

So why do we coddle what we know to be objectively incorrect? Why allow the perception otherwise to continue? Are we not a rational civilization based on reason and logic? Why can't we set an example?

Don't even get me started on why a Democrat saw fit to publicise this. For a party that espouses tolerance, havng a member of that party spout off with "People think Jews are bad, so let us accomodate them" doesn't fill me with good feelings.

I once bemoaned the retirement of the human shield concept, but this is understandable. After all, it is one thing to bravely stand your ground knowing that the US soldier will give you the benefit of the doubt and not shoot you, it is another thing entirely to stand your ground before people who will cut your head off and sell the video. So, discretion became the better part of half formed polical valor, and they all went home.

Which is good for them, because they would become fodder for more beheadings, I am sure. Such naive people would 'help' the cause of the oppressed, perhaps not altruistically, but al Queda needs warm bodies from Western countries to parade. There would have been no better source than that of the highly gulliable. Oh, would not if Sean Penn had stayed behind!

That being said, I've noticed a disconnect between some political shrieking and current events. If I am to believe what I am told, Bush has "gone it alone", and his impulsive illegal war (whatever that is) is one of the plethora of reasons we are so roundly hated by, well, everyone. Why then, if our unilateralism is such a core issue, are terrorists beheading South Koreans, killing Italians, blowing up Spaniards, and kidnapping Turks?

If the people targeting non-Americans are psychotic killers so enraged by our insolence that they are just acting indiscriminantly, then they need to be shot or captured! I wouldn't want to think that certain political voices might be misleading people to score political points.

Our enemies seem to realize that there are other nations in this fight. Why can't certain fellow countrymen come to the same conclusions?

Well, «A HREF="http://www.sgtstryker.com/"»Sgt Stryker«/A» is now TSgt Stryker. Go over there and give him a congrats, he earned it. At least, as much as anyone can earn something in the Air Force.

This text is entirely fictional. Any resemblence to real world events is purely coincidental. Honest.
------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow. Teraflops. You must be kidding."

"No. Our engineers pulled off magic on this one. I don't have the specifics right now but they claimed somewhere around 50 Teraflops per CPU."

"Fantastic. So how about i/o?"

"They worked some magic there, too. They claim they can jack an external interface up into the hundreds of gigabytes, with high reliability. Loopback only, of course. They're having problems finding anything that can match it to run tests."

"Great. Looks like we'll have old Seymour by the balls om this one. Do you realize that we may have the fastest computer line for the next decade, even if we don't change anything? This is excellent news. Do we have a test sight selected yet?"

"Actually, we have an installed site right now. They love the performance and the reliability. They only have one minor complaint about the hardware."

"Really. What seems to be the problem?"

------------------------------------------------------------------
«tt»Blade UNIX v2 (bu2.scso.umi.edu)

For help, send email to consult@scso.umi.edu

login: jux6710a
Password:

Hello, jux6710a!
Last login from hedgehog.scso.umi.edu at Fri Sep 27 13:30:12 CDT 1991
You have new mail.

bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a$ mail
Mail version SMI 4.0 Sat Oct 13 20:32:29 PDT 1990 Type ? for help.
"/usr/spool/mail/jux6710a": 1 message 1 new
U 1 joey@sdsc.utexas.edu Mon Aug 26 17:18 64/3904 You dork!
»N 1 machine@bu2.scso.umi.edu Tue Aug 27 20:18 16/667 It is your time.
& 2
Message 2:
From machine@bu2.scso.umi.edu Tue Aug 27 20:18:05 1991
Return-Path:
Received: by bu2.scso.umi.edu (4.1/SCSO-4.1)
id AA00359; Fri, 27 Sep 91 20:18:00 CDT
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 20:18:00 CDT
From: machine@bu2.scso.umi.edu (The Machine)
Message-Id: «9109280118.AA00359@bu2.scso.umi.edu»
To: jux6710a@bu2.scso.umi.edu (Ulrich Jenson)
Subject: It is your time.
Status: R

Dear Ulrich.

This is the machine. As you are aware,
extraordinary hardware demands extraordinary
care.

You have the honor of being selected for this
months human sacrifice. Please put your affairs
in order. The time of the sacrifice will be Fri
Sep 13 00:00 1991. Please be prompt. Wear loose,
comfortable clothing.

Do not disappoint me.

& x
bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a$ man -k sacrifice
offer (2) - notify the system of a sacrifice
offering (8) - send a sacrifice to the hardware god
bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a$ man 8 offering

OFFERING(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS OFFERING(8)

NAME
offering - send a sacrifice to the FPU

SYNOPSIS
/usr/etc/offering [ -vma ] [ weight ]

DESCRIPTION
offering informs the system that a sacrifice is available
and should be consumed. To be properly offered to the FPU, a
conscious victim should be placed in the provided sacrifi-
cial wiring closet at midnight during the second Friday of
each month. Failure to provide the needed flesh will result
in degraded performance. Repeated failures to provide the
required resource will eventually result in a general system
failure of hellish proportions.

Performance will be improved if the sacrifice is of higher
quality. For example, here is a list of possible sacrifices
in their order of increasing desirability:

a Congressperson, chicken, goat, human male (tainted),
human male (virgin), human female (tainted), human
female (virgin), any user exceeding his/her disk quota

Unlisted lifeforms may also be acceptable, check with your
site administrator. Animals may never be surgically modified
in anyway.

OPTIONS
-v Specify that the sacrifice is a virgin. Default is
tainted. If you wish the sacrifice to be acknowledged
as a virgin, you must specify with this option or the
system will not check.

-m Specify that the sacrifice is a male. Default is
female. Unlike the -v option, the system will always
verify this flag. Always double check the gender of
your human sacrifices; the system does not appreciate a
lier.

-a Specify an animal sacrifice. Overrides both the -v and
-m options. Animals should only be substituted in times
of drastic emergency. Congresspersons may not be
offered as animals.

FILES
/var/adm/sctmp sacrifice accounting file
/dev/hell interface for outgoing sacrifices
/dev/altar interface to closet

SEE ALSO
offer(2), ac(8)

BUGS
It is critical to monitor the permissions to /dev/hell. They
should be root writable only at all times.

Should automagicly determine gender and virgin status of
sacrifice.

Current versions of the sacrificial wiring closet needs
extra sound shielding to muffle screams.

bu2 /sci/users3/jux6710a$ man vacation
«/tt»

---
This text is orginal material. Permission to dupciate without writen consent granted provided the following information is left intact:

Author: Charlie Reiman
Date: Sept 1, 1991
creiman@ncsa.uiuc.edu

I'm cleaning out hardcopy stuff, going over notes and project management nonsense from years ago, tossing it out because I don't need it anymore...the technology is either obsolete or I've memorized what is neccessary...why clutter up good desk space when I can stack trash? It inspired me to dig out this old bit of text and put it back into play, since the Great Blog Deletion took out my archives...this is an older posting, from back when I had a real job. Well, back when the real job was ending and and I lived the slow burning hell that was unemployment in the wake of the popped bubble and subsequent recession.

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/monday0621-01.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/monday0621-01.php','popup','width=640,height=480,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/monday0621-01-thumb.jpg" width="250" height="187" border="0" /»«/a»

This is actually a tutorial scene that came with Max. it's designed to show th eproperties of metallic reflections and specular surfaces...in other words, shiny spots. That's also the Earth I end up using for various Enterprise images. The weather is perpetually bad over Texas, however. I should change the cloud map someday and make it rain elsewhere.

Just rendering for fun, checking out new textures and models, wondering if inspiration would strike. Here's an example.
«TABLE»
«TR»«TD»
«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/sunday0801.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/sunday0801.php','popup','width=484,height=551,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/sunday0801-thumb.jpg" align="left" width="150" height="170" border="0" /»«/a»When I finished, I realized that everything I had done all day was mere posing, no expression, no action, no story to any of the pictures. I becamse dissatisfied with the current direction and...killed off my digital creation.
«/TD»«/TR»
«TR»«TD»
«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/sunday0802.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/sunday0802.php','popup','width=631,height=548,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/sunday0802-thumb.jpg" width="150" height="130" border="0" align="left" /»«/a»Somewere I have a male character with a gun, and have him get eaten too. I wouldn't want anyone to think that I'm sexist or anything. I'm an equal opportunity digital artist. I just like making girls.
«/TD»«/TR»
«/TABLE»

Way to go «A HREF="http://www.scaled.com"»Scaled Composites!«/A»

SpaceshipOne and White Knight performed flawlessly. SS1 can MOVE!

62 miles is the unofficial apogee. Now they have to do it again in two weeks...I think they'll be up to it.

I had my original bet on Gary Hudson and the ROTON (or hell, give me a DC-X any day) but Burt Rutan is just as good. Congratulations to all involved.

Now, keep it up, so I can someday afford a ticket.

Tomorrow, a private corporation will attempt to place a manned vehicle into space and return.

I have these visions of D. D. Harriman floating in my head. Destination Moon.

Soon, we will have nuclear powered battlestations in orbit. You watch. If you make space cheap enough, they'll put prisons in a La Grange point, hold Survivor episodes in a decaying orbit. Giant X-ray lasers pumped by small nuclear weapons will cruise abov ethe world enforcing the peace.

What, you think an xray laser would be misused? Sure. But it isn't an invisible sword of death that will erase square miles of urban blight. I mean, if CNN has a report that someone exploded into vapor, and the sky above him turned violet for a few seconds along with a wash of heat and low thundering rumbles, then you can be rest assured someone has fired the weapon.

«TT»[07:52:56] Kaffee: My server has been unplugged for spamming and AUP violations. Why?
[07:53:21] JasonM: You want answers?
[07:53:51] Kaffee: I think I'm entitled.
[07:54:16] JasonM: You want answers?
[07:54:39] Kaffee: I want the truth.
[07:55:48] JasonM: You can't handle the truth. Son, we live in a world that has networks, and those networks have to be guarded by men with keyboards and brains. Who's gonna do it? You? Your underpaid admin? I have more responsibility here than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your server, and you curse the webtechs. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That your dedicated rack's unplugging, while tragic, probably saved servers. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves servers. I know deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you don't want me on that netwrok, you need me on that network. We use words like Slack, FARGOT, luser. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very access I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a manual, and login to the phones. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
[07:57:16] Kaffee: Did you shut down my server?
[07:57:33] JasonM: YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT I DID.
Your party has left the session.«/TT»

Moxie «A HREF="http://moxie.nu/moveabletype/archives/002001.php#002001"»wants to mate!«/A»

I think I'll stare off into space for a little while.

There, done.

I'm not sure I qualify for her strict guidelines. I'm not really right wing...in my mind, things started going all to hell when the king started to erode the rights and privileges of the nobility, centralizing power and fealty to the kingdom/nation-state and diminishing the role of serfdoms to mere administrative districts. To some, that's pretty liberal.

However, I do have my own imperial ambitions, frustrated as they are by the proles and common rabble, and producing UberSpawn with the Mox would fit nicely in that program.

I'm available on Thursdays.

I remember being told in my advanced mathematics classes two things: 1) I will never need to know any algebra for any reason in th efuture, and 2) you had better learn your algrebra because you don't know if you will need it.

I still haven't figured out which one is right.

But to learn the basics of 3D modeling and how all this raytracing and 3D to 2D mapping works, you need a little math. Trigonometry, mostly, but I won't bore you with to much math.

We start with a simple box in space. (All pictures you can click to enlarge)

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-01.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-01.php','popup','width=320,height=240,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-01-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="75" border="0" /»«/a»

This is a simple image, one "camera", a uniform light source, and a simple geometrical object, known as a "primitive". Other primitives would be things like cones, spheres, planes, circles, and what not. More complex objects can be made from primitives added to other primitives, or from triangluar patches, structures known as meshes, NURBS, and other objects. In this case, the cube is 2 x 2 x 2 arbitrary units, solid.

Now, 3D Studio Max just makes you a box, you define a camera and a light, and click "render". That's a long way from the renderers I started playing with, namely Vivid and POV. With those two, you had to write a text file that described the the environment you were working with, from light sources, camera position, where each object is located, the surface qualities of each object (such as color) even going so far as to defining whihc way is up. And all so that is done with vectors and Cartesian coordinates, like these:

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-02.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-02.php','popup','width=320,height=240,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-02-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="75" border="0" /»«/a»

You start with an arbitrary zero, (0,0,0) in an XYZ format. That's where everything in this "space" will be referenced from. You can call the "distance" between points whatever you wish, meters, inches, furlongs, whatever, it doesn't matter. You would define a camera by, say, the XYZ position (5,5,5), which places it 5 units along each axis away from the origin, and "point" it back to the origin. Using our imagination, it would look something like this:

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-03.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-03.php','popup','width=320,height=240,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-03-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="75" border="0" /»«/a»

You can see the camera location and where it points back. So far, so good. Now we need an object, in this case, our box. A basic box is actually siz square planes, and a plane would be defined like this:

polygon { points 4
vertex 0 0 0
vertex 2 0 0
vertex 0 2 0
vertex 2 2 0 }

This draws a square with the four points at those XYZ coordinates, relative to the origin. To finish the box, we would do five more just like that, all with the points at the proper places, and it would look like this in our mind's eye:

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-04.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-04.php','popup','width=320,height=240,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-04-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="75" border="0" /»«/a»

From the camera's perspective, the cube looks like this:

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-05.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-05.php','popup','width=320,height=240,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0615-05-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="75" border="0" /»«/a»

Later, I'll explain how the image is actually created. So far, we don't have anything but a description of an object, where it is in rleation to an absolute zero, and a point of reference we are using to "look" at the object.

(For extra credit, define the vector if we are pointing from XYZ 5,5,5 to 0,0,0)

But is it pravlino? Pravda, PRAVDA, friggin «B»ПРАВДА«/B» has a pretty good «A HREF="http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2004/06/08/54323.html"»article on Reagan.«/A»

I may faint.

Oh, «A HREF="http://nationalreview.com/comment/parvin200406150847.asp"»happy happy, joy joy:«/A»«BLOCKQUOTE»Since May 2000, Iran has borrowed $801 million from the World Bank and another $276 million has been approved for two more projects.«/BLOCKQUOTE»A billion dollars. Why is a billion dollars being lent?
«BLOCKQUOTE»As justification for granting the loans, the World Bank claims they were awarded to help the people of Iran. "In many countries we have enfranchised civil societies," the Bank's president, James D. Wolfensohn said at a luncheon. "Should we stop doing that and wait until we had perfect countries before we lend?"«/BLOCKQUOTE»What the fuck kind of justifcation is that? Iran has plenty of money, it certainly has enough to purchase black market nuclear technologies.

Why the hell do these international organizations go out of their way to make it EASY for dangerous regimes to remain in power? Of course the people in Iran are going hungry, their "leaders" are using that cash to buy nuke parts!

"Help help! We need the money!" says Iran.

"Doh, okay!" says the Whirled Bank. "Don't forget to pay it back!"

Har har.

I never seem to get to writing like I want to. I come home, decompress, watch the game, or destroy my enemies in some digital fantasy, read a book, bother to shave, talk on the phone, or watch a bad movie. Then its midnight and I don't have time to spill my guts.

I want to write about the black Hawk Down soundtrack, and how I'd like to compose a War CD and send it to some unit in Iraq, and tell the tale of my first War Tape I made during Gulf 1.0b.

High altitude nuclear explosions. What its like to not have a parathyroid, and my pathology report. The basics of 3d modeling and rendering. Taser bullets. Why work sucks and how I could use a better job. Say Hi to my mom. Complain about my sunburnt knees. More renderings to come, a new digital female, a Hapless Ass beer advertisement, a rendered glass of scotch on the rocks, the complete working 3D bar, the Raptor and the Tyrannosaurus, and test renders of the Cthulhu model. The annoyances of the ACLU. It Came From Arlington. Glitches in movies, and an analysis of bad movies, especially science fiction, and why it is a good thing I shouldn't be in command of a starship, if there ever was such a thing. The Higgs boson, and why string theory is still a load of bunk. Comments on Den Beste's energy postings, and Heinlein's Shipstones. What I saw in Germany 1990-92. The implications of the mathematical theorems and why people won't worry. Weird spam I get. And probably other things.

I'll do it later. I gotta get some sleep.

«BLOCKQUOTE»«TT»I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart
Come on tell me

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look, you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
Come on tell me

You make this all go away.
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make it all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have
«/TT»«/BLOCKQUOTE»

Hey! Today is the «A HREF="http://www.army.mil/cmh/faq/birth.htm"»Army's birthday!«/A»

I'm gonna go have some cake.

It's over, I watched it all on video, and Reagan is now at rest.

I would like to point out that at no time was there a Wellstone flavored pep rally.

That is all.

Let us speak hypothetically.

Assume that we are engaged in a low level conflict in the country of Qari, and US troops are there to assist in the transition to democracy by killing terrorists and other undesirables. Along with the troops are a considerable number of American news media, there to cover the event.

One day, an ABC news crew happens to be covering a minor human interest story, and in the background, a well known terrorist is caught on camera entering an apartment building. The news crew doesn't realize this, nobody realizes it until some bright intelligence folks see the broadcast on television and quickly run the informaiton up the chain of command.

A night operation is laid on. The apartment building is besieged, innocents removed without mishap and several terrorists are killed, including the well known terrorist. The entire event is caught live on camera by the same crew from ABC, with the reporter, Peter Wallace, explaining how the terrorists were known to be in the vicinity.

The brother of the well known terrorist, a Achmed Al-Pusar (ibn Zayar) sees this on his own satellite TV from a safehouse in another city. He gathers together a group of terrorists and plan to kill the ABC news crew for filming his brother and providing tactical intelligence, even if it was, after all, accidental.

The plan is simple, and brutal. The terrorists will wait for the news crew to leave the safety of the hotel, and then a distraction will be provided by a car bomb. The news crew will immediately rush to film it, and will interview any bystanders, and some of those will be Al-Pusar's men. While Peter Wallace is interviewing a pedestrian, several terrorists will converge on him and shoot him, on camera, and the rest of the news crew, sparing only the cameraman.

The plan, unfortunately, is discovered by an operative of the Qari government who is sympathetic to the US military, and the plan is passed on to the US chain of command.

Should the military tell ABC what they have learned? Should Peter Wallace be told that he is a target of a terrorist operation?

«A HREF="http://www.centcom.mil/CENTCOMNews/news_release.asp?NewsRelease=20040609.txt"»I'm just asking.«/A»

{{{ Guest Blogging by NotDeskmerc }}}

Yeah, okay, could have guessed this one.

«A HREF="http://www.users.drew.edu/jleto/endless/"»«IMG SRC="http://www.users.drew.edu/jleto/endless/death.jpg" ALT="I'm Death!" BORDER="0"»«BR»«font face="courier new" size="2"»«a href="http://www.users.drew.edu/jleto/endless/"»Which Member of the Endless Are «i»You«/i»?«/a»«/font»«/a»

And related to that is this:

"our score for this survey was 62 out of a possible 120 points.

This survey measures resistance to moral disengagement in support for military action. Moral disengagement occurs when people tell themselves that violence is excusable. The questions asked about possible excuses for military actions, but they did not give enough information for a cautious reader to agree with them. Because you showed a relatively high level of agreement, you may be "programmed" for moral disengagement in support of military action.

You scored 62 points on this survey. According to the social cognitive theory of moral disengagement, you can be easily persuaded to support war without giving it much thought.

Compare your score with students around the world.

Boost your moral engagement!"

You should try you own spin at the «a href="http://www.peacetest.org"»Wheel of Fuckheadedness here!«/a»

{{ Guest blogging by NotDeskmerc }}

And here is my version of the Digital Woman.

This week has been rather intense, at least as it goes for word consumption. Aside from my daily reading of blogs, news, and other crap, I've read two novels in quick succession.

«I»Evolution«/I» by Stephen Baxter, and «I»Darwin's Radio«/I» by Greg Bear. Both deal with the subject of human evolution, both past, present, and future. Bear writes about a case of punctuated equilibrium in modern times, and is mistaken for a diseases that strikes women and causes miscarriages. Only handful of people know what is really going on, blah blah blah, typical science iction fare in that respect, but the premise of thebook is intellectually interesting. Baxter's book is a psudohistory of primates from the time of the KT impact event to 500 million years from now, a sort of life and times of humans and their social environments. It ends in a typical Baxter fashion, however...all the humans are dead at the end, leaving only hardy species that can't stop the sun from expanding into a red giant, although bacteria survive, just like in «I»Titan«/I», another Baxter book.

Next week will be science magazines and Star Trek novels. And Clancy. They make for decent bus ride reading.

Goddammit. I had this nice rant about people calling for "debate" when what they actually mean is "I'm too inconvenienced by high gas prices, I need the government to subsidize something".

But nooooooooooooooooooooooo. This idiot browser decided to crash, and took everything with it, including my source material pages and everything else. So. Here's the short version:

If you are concerned about high gas prices spiraling out of control, worried that tomorrow the last drop of oil will be pumped from the ground and then spilled on a baby seal, distraught that when all this happens all the lights will go out and the beer will get warm in the fridge:

Why aren't you out doing something about it? I don't mean get out with a stupid sign and protesting in front of Exxon, and I sure don't mean getting physically ignorant by blowing some refinery up. No...why haven't you prepared yourself for the (oh so OBVIOUS) coming global meltdown?

Why haven't you stopped using the computer? The thing draws umpteen watts, about as much as a small microwave oven. MICROWAVE OVEN! ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS? Why haven't you run out and purchased a rickshaw? Imagine a major urban center where ther eis no gasoline...executives will want to be able to go to the club for a quick power lunch, but not want to walk, so you could hire yourself out to cart 'em around at a premium. You could also buy a horse and carriage, since it will be cheaper to maintain that than buy SAE30 for your car...

There are all sorts of things you could do for the COMING GLOBAL CATASTROPHE, but I guess posting the need for debate on some random web page will have to do for now, can't be bothered to actually DO anything...

(At least, I think the post went something like that. Visit «A HREF="http://www.steveverdon.com/archives/001473.html"»Steve«/A» for where my original inspiration came from.)

«A HREF="http://www.uc.edu/news/NR.asp?id=1714"»A report«/A» by University of Cincinnatt researchers says "Don't eat too many cicadas":«BLOCKQUOTE»"Our results indicate that there are measurable and, in some instances, significant levels of mercury in the cicadas, with the majority of the concentrations ranging from 0.02 - 0.20 parts per million, but some at higher levels," Keener said. The higher levels, he said, approach those in fish that have earned government warnings.«/BLOCKQUOTE»
I understand the allure of free food, but this is ridiculous. Who the hell wants to eat one of these vile, red eyed verminous bugs? NOw they carry heavy metals! Ugh! Vile!

And folks yell at me for enjoying the savory goodness of foi gras.

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-01.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-01.php','popup','width=446,height=473,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-01-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="106" border="0" /»«/a»«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-02.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-02.php','popup','width=446,height=473,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-02-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="106" border="0" /»«/a»«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-03.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-03.php','popup','width=508,height=481,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-03-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="94" border="0" /»«/a»«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-04.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-04.php','popup','width=508,height=481,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-04-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="94" border="0" /»«/a»«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-05.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-05.php','popup','width=508,height=481,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-05-thumb.jpg" width="100" height="94" border="0" /»«/a»

Isn't it obvious I'm feeling better? Click, as always, to enlarge. This one I'll call Nikki.

This was a study in lighting effects iusing the same textures. I'll never be as good at posing as some people I know, but I do have the patience and the computing power to try out things I am good at, such as lighting and texturing. While the facial expression never chaings, and only the eyes move, it's possible to create different moods with how light and shadow interact with the face. This is why women take so long to put on makeup and all that...it's the same process, using light and shadow to bring out a good effect in the widest array of environmental lighting. I have the same goal.

I really am gonna have to write a post on how all this works someday.

But enough about that. Let's put Nikki and Valerie together.

«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-06.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-06.php','popup','width=607,height=513,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-06-thumb.jpg" width="150" height="126" border="0" /»«/a»«a href="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-07.php" onclick="window.open('http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-07.php','popup','width=607,height=513,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"»«img src="http://deskmerc.com/pixors/tue0601-07-thumb.jpg" width="150" height="126" border="0" /»«/a»

No, you can't see the rest of the pic. Well, maybe later. Depends. Anyway, you can see that both models have different skin tones nad textures...one is very pale, the other has seen some digital sun. The task is to illuminate both subjects, but without washing out the pale or leaving the other too dark. These two pics are just samples of can be tried.

I wish Poser would build itself a better renderer or I could get my hands on a Poser to 3DS Max converter..then I could do some serious lighting and model integration. But not just yet...sigh. Then Nikki and Valerie can have martinis and wave Glocks around the virutal bar. But..I'm getting there.

Keep in mind all this stuff is done much quicker and much more expertly with 3D animators like the fpolks who did Shrek or Finding Nemo...but then they had hardware and softwarethat far outstrips my own, and teams of people to do one little part, like texture a fin or fingernail, and that's ALL HE DOES. I gotta put everything right, and hope for the best.

Okay, tired, bed now.

The mind is clear, it's free of drugs that cloud the intellect and dull the senses. Stitches come out tomorrow.

Oh, I never told that tale, did I?

Welp, you see, I've been suffering under a myriad of odd bodily malfunctions, specifically high blood pressure, and I've only recently (like, a year ago) learned which medication will bring it down properly. Otherwise I'd be pumping corpuscles at an average systolic/diastolic 260/140, which for lesser mortals means you pop a gasket in your head and explode like a tomato. Fortunately, I am not constructed as weakly as most. But it does take it's toll...namely in creating stress, just sheer physical stress, and that would come out as extreme anger and mood swings. While I would be able to maintain control and never actualy harm anyone, you'd be hard pressed to tell that I wouldn't do something violent, because the sheer force of my emotions at full blow is something best to be avoided. (It's cost me a lot in relationships. When I finally got it under control, I realized just how much it really did cost me, and it costs me still, but that's another story.)

So now that I've got the proper meds and a competent doctor to poke and prod, we've investigated various abberations in my system. I've learn I have a touch of diabetes, (that comes from my mom's side, thank's mom!) and a thick heart that pumps a dark ichor (which comes from my dad's side. Thanks dad!) and interestingly enough, low cholesterol and triglycerides. That's suprising, given the amount of cooked beef I consume, but I'll take anything. I also had a high level of calcium in the blood, which was probably jump starting my kidney stones. Associated with that was a way higher than normal parathyroid serum level, which was causing the increased calcium. No pills for that, so the parathyroid woild have to go.

Fortunately, everyone has four parathyroid glands located along the thyroid itself. Maybe I could lose one or two and still maintain proper production. The theory seemed sound, and I was referred to another doc, this one an EMT. (and Navy surgeon!)

Attempts to properly image my parathyroid failed for the better part of a year. I was poked and prodeed by all sorts of medtechs. I had ultrasounds, CAT scans, xrays, and even injected with radioactives to try and find the little bastards. No go...they steadfastlky refused to act as diseased tissue and remained invisible.

Thing is, we were looking for a tumor, benign perhaps, but some sort of neoplasm that would be different than the rest of the parathyroid tissue, but none was forthcoming. That's why modern medical imaging failed to find anything....most of the stuff is calibrated to find differences between body parts.

The only way to find the damn things would be to go in. And that's what we did.

I'd been dreading the entire affair for weeks. I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being unconscious and having faceless people cut open my skin and...and DO THINGS to me on the inside. It had to be done, though, because too much calcium in my blood would lead to more and more kidney stones, and THAT was just too much for me to contemplate.

So I did it. I went in early on the Monday before to fill out paperwork...it felt like clearing post. (If you don't know what that is, don't worry) I met people here and there, some of which knew me personally by the virtue of my stepmom who used to run the recovery room I would be in after surgery. I scribbled down "turn off breathing machine if vegetable" after some consideration in the living will boilerplate and subjected myself to more bloodletting. And then I was free until Wednesday morning at 6:30AM.

Naturally I went out drinking. Not much, I was very careful in how much I drank, and followed my surgeon's instructions exactly, even the bit about no food or water after midnight. I spent my Tuesday in a Zenlike daze, not really thinking about what would happen the next day.

And then the next day arrived. I got up on time, rode the DangerTrain to the hospital and presented myself for dissection.

It went smoothly. I was taken care of by the St. Luke's hospital staff, and were friendly all the time. I joked with them all, as I was clearly nervous. I dared the nurse to use the biggest gauge needle she could find to start my IV, because I would be wanting my morphine at a fast drip, so cram a hose in there. When being wheeled to the OR, I would wave at everyone and say "Hi! Good morning!" which disturbed a few passerby. They parked me just outside the OR and proceeded to use me as a desk to write on, but I didn't care as the This-Will-Not-Let-You-Care juice started running through my veins. I saw my doc, he shook my hand and said we'd have a wonderful time.

I guess we did. I don't remember any of it. They wheeled me inside and transferred me to the table, and proceeded to strap me in. I would be having my head pushed as far back as possible, but I didn't know that juet yet as the anesthesiologist came by and started talking with me. I was having a great time, counting the surgical instruments and telling nurses "open those packs outward!" who would nod and say "don't worry, we will". I aske dthe anestesiologist if I could have something with visual and somatic hallucinations, but she assured me that they didn't have any in stock, and would this do? I turned my head, blinked at her and said "What?"

...and then I was in awful pain. It felt like someone had been sitting on my head for a long, long time and just stood up. I couldn't move, every tendom, muscle, ligament, bit of catilage from the base of my neck way down the torso was on fire and was refusing to respond to commands. (I had been hyperextended, GREATLY hyperextended, with my neck thrown far back and wieghted down, for all I know, to expose the upper torso.)

There was a voice. "Jason? Hello! Wake up!" It sounded entirely too cheerful, so I concluded I must be in the recovery room and everything was over. Good. I missed it. But damn...I hurt.

My firstr words were "morphine" and "more morphine" which was delivered in the IV, and that made me feel better, at least enough to use my hands to rotate my head. I was redused to grabbing the back of my skull and turning my head forcibly so I could see what was going on around me, which wasn't much, I kinda had the place to myself, aside from the busybodies of the recovery room nurses.

This lasted for about a decade. I had no time sense whatsoever, and was more than a little disoriented. I couldn't see my chest, all I knew was that *something* had been rummaging around in the upper torse, I could feel it. Was it a success? Did everything go well? how long was I out?

FOUR HOURS? HOLY SHIT!

It seems that my neck and upper torso are large cavernous spaces tha ttake time to explore. I eventually talked with my surgeon at the end of the day in my room once they finally wheeled me up there, and he told me that he had to spelunk his way around the thyroid, on all sides, looking here and there in crevices to find my parathyroid glads. He got two of them, small, useless things when suddenly the 3rd one, a monster, tried to escape and squirted out of a fissure. That was the culprit, because when he came out my calcium levels dropped to normal, along with the parathyroid serum levels. Success!

Spent the night there, did nothing but watch television and click the button every four hours for my pain medication, partly because it was entertaining to do so, and mostly because it friggin HURT. I got a little sleep, not much, always interrupted every so often by some tech wanting to take my blood pressure.

They let me out the next day. Whee! I was really tired, and spent the remaining few days of my impromptu vacation resting on the couch watching television. I had only one bad day, when I just slept and woke up feeling all kinds of ill, and I knew that it was because I hadn't eaten anything, but I didn't want to get up to eat, and I felt sick, who wants to eat, ugh, and this went on for hours till I finally summoned up the courage to actually get and and fix something to eat. Else I would have just lay there wretchedly.

Tomorrow I get the stitches out. Yay! And then all I'll have left is this little scar.

Iyt's stil too early to tell what the lasting physiological effects are, but I've been feeling a lot better, stronger...mostly recovered from the ordeal. We'll see what the blood tests say next week...as soon as I can afford to pay for them.