So I'm trying to sleep, having a nice dream. I was doing wiring work...which isn't unusual, yeah I dream about crimping RJ-45...on a SPACE STATION. Anyway, I'm thinking to myself, "Its a good thing this is a dream, because of all the high voltage" and the Cat decides "oh, its 8 o'clock! WAKE HIM WAKE HIM WAKE HIM" and leaps directly on my ass with all claws extended for maximum traction. This induces a mild seizure on my part, and in a panic, the furball drives pitons all the way up my back and on top of my head to escape my thrashing. Meanwhile, I'm struggling awake thinking "I'm being electrocuted, get the hell up now" and crash into the floor fan I positioned to blow a gentle breeze over me as I slept, causing an ungodly racket as the wire fan guard comes off and the blades break into jagged bits that I nearly put my head into.
This is how I wake up to go to work.
I'm sorry for laughing at your unfortunate wake-up story, but it's your fault for writing it so funny 8^)